Real Housewives of New York Season 9 Episode 9 Two Weeks Notice

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We open the scene back into the Berkshires, 

Summary: Bethanny is miserable, Ramona is cracking through the eggs shells she walks on and Luanne is two weeks away from getting married.

Lessons learned this episode: 

Trick Guy Syndrome:  Trick guys are guys who were ugly in high school who are still insecure and sleep around because they have money now.  Attractive guys are nicer and used to the attention.  (Confused emoji goes here, I have NEVER heard this before). 

The scene opens where we left off, in Dorinda’s sitting room:

The scene opens in the Berkshires, in one of Dorinda’s living room, while she is chatting with Luanne.  Luanne is trying her best to prove to the ladies that she totally sure about Tom.  I am not sure if she is really good at convincing me, or if she really believes it because I really believe her.  

The conversation is interrupted by Ramona, and this is her moment to shine “All I know is if I was getting married in two weeks, I would want to hear the bad news from Dorinda.  You know he hasn’t changed. “

For the 1,000th time, Ramona claims she accepts it, but then quickly reverts while in her confessional where she states Luanne is in denial.

She comes clean with Luanne, telling her all the dirt she has pulled up from the filthy Manhattan streets, and you know what, Luanne is still getting married.  

Luanne accepts this 49 year old man for who he is Ramona…

Ramona claims she has friends who see Tom out, “like, all the time,” at this point, I must say, for how often these women claim to know people who see Tom, why haven’t any of them caught him red handed? 

Bethanny decided to chime in, and talks about the doubts she had prior to her marriage and keeps reminding Luanne that cracks become craters.  The scene begins to heat up, and the ladies are throwing Tom accusations left and right, and Luanne, desperate to change the subject looks at Ramona and says:

 “Don’t you have something better to do Ramona?” Ramona yells NO!  Because let’s be real, she doesn’t.  Ramona begins crying, this happened to her, she was the LAST to know and she doesn’t want it to happen to Luanne.  

Carole speaks the most sense this episode, Luanne is not 25 years old she is a grown woman who can  make and survive her mistakes.  

Bethanny also makes a valid point, Luanne just doesn’t want them to talk about it, she never said the rumors weren’t true.  

Dorinda begs the lady to put the subject to bed.  Can we please, tuck it in and turn off the lights? 

In true housewife style: Luanne and Sonja talk about the women in front of their faces like they are not there.  Sonja is staying way out of this conversation, she is already on thin ice with Tom and is not trying to create any more cracks.  

The ladies scatter and gossip.  

“How can Tom get all these women.”

“Tom must have a 48 karate member.”

Tinsley speaks up, she can relate to Luanne it took her to get arrested to realize she wasn’t in a healthy relationship.  

Sonja talks to Ramona about the Bethanny drama:

It would not be the Berkshires if someone didn’t try and piss off Bethanny.  Ramona and Sonja are chatting about how Ramona can get back into her good graces and Ramona is starting to realize, finally, that she crossed the line.  What she doesn’t realize is that Bethanny is ignoring her/ not being friendly to her.  Leave it to Sonja to tell her the truth, practically telling Ramona nope, she still hates you.  Ramona is gearing up for an apology, and I hope she is ready, because it is not going to go well.  She is headed towards the back door- enter joke about Sonja here – to apologize to Bethanny.  

BTW I see Carole and Tinsley forming a friendship and I like it!

Bethanny and Tinsley finally talk

A hilarious scene where Bethanny is in the kitchen frantically searching for cocktail supplies, while Tinsley talks about her living situation with Sonja.  Tinsley was a wreck, and needed to live with Sonja to help get her life together.  This is the biggest gag, because if anything is gonna make Tinsley really go crazy, it’s three more months of living with Sonja.  

The ladies try to set the house on fire:

Carole thinks she is very outdoorsy because she was a Girl Scout and a Brownie back in 1876, she is “good at making fire”.  What she is not good at is:

1. Safety first, I thought she almost lit her hair and Dorinda’s house on fire.

2. Being good at making fire works very differently outdoors vs in, aka , it doesn’t work if the fireplace is broken.

The ladies chat in front of what was almost a house fire:

Luanne joins the group of women, and Bethanny congratulates her on her upcoming nuptials.  When Luanne, being courteous or shady, I am not really sure, congratulates her back on getting divorced, she sends Bethanny into a emotional downward spiral.  But not before Dorinda let’s out the smoky flame consuming her sitting room.  

After they move to the other sitting room, the ladies are chatting about love and trusting your gut.  Before any one can finish their conversation, Bethanny chimes in, proclaiming her heart, gut and instinct got her in the toilet bowl.  Everyone looks a bit shocked, and when Luanne mentioned she had a beautiful daughter from that marriage, Bethanny kind of side-steps her child and goes back to how miserable she is.  For a minute let’s forget how crazy Luanne is (I know it is hard) but honestly, she is speaking truth.  Everything does happen for a reason, and if Bethanny would stop, for one minute, being a narcissist, she would realize life is about lessons.  But Bethanny doesn’t want to hear any of this, instead she wants to complain and be in a loathing place. She is in a dungeon and torture chamber.  She completely dismisses how amazing her life is, and how great her daughter is and her life is consumed by a man she was married with for all of 3 years.  Bethanny is in the most negative cloud to ever grace Northern New York, life is not beautiful it is tragic.  While Luanne is on the opposite side and believes, what we all should believe, life is full of moments, learn from them and move on.  

Bethanny  is throwing is not loving life right now, no matter that she has a million dollar company, 2 million dollar homes, a house in the Hamptons, 6 companies, and a  new show coming on next season, she is miserable.   Then she leaves to cry, even though her custody settlement is over, her divorce and financial agreements are settled and she sold their place, she is still typical miserable Bethanny.    

The spiral begins, and it is more like a tornado.   Bethanny breaks down to Luanne, and it’s last years Berkshires in reverse.  She is literally begging Luanne to not get married… Bethanny is NOT okay, not okay, not okay, Jason’s life is based around torturing Bethanny and it must be a full time job.  

This is where we learn Jason has been sending Bethanny, mean emails, he calls Bethanny her mothers name, he stalks her, he is crazy and spending his life making her miserable.  Bethanny wishes someone would have saved her from getting married.  Bethanny has clearly never heard of blocking his emails and calls, and using a nanny to hand over their child.  Girl block him!

Bethanny may not be blocking Jason, but Luanne is blocking every bit of her negative marriage projections.      

The ladies scatter before dinner:

Sonja and Ramona remind us why we do love them, they are the fun ones, and everyone else in this situation is being a Debbie downer.  They are the only things lifting this episode out of misery.  


Carole joins Bethanny in their room:

Bethanny continues her negative spiral and is dissing everything positive about life.  Like she thinks her life is so miserable, maybe she should take a trip to a third world country once in a while.  

Also, Luanne is living in a fortune cookie… 

Why is Bethanny even here?  She clearly hates everyone except Carole, and she is miserable, go home!

Every one sits down for dinner

Ramona is on TEN at dinner, also she LOVES the chicken.  First she spills sauce on Dorinda’s chair and blames Dorinda for giving her too much sauce.  

Side note Dorinda is so sick of having these ladies in her home, she really needs to invite a new set of friends next year. 

Ramona gives her first toast

Carole does a PSA on the cruelty of chicken

Ramona proclaims her love for Dorinda

Every one including Sonja is looking at her like she is crazier than normal

Dorinda offers a prize to one person at the table and Ramona wins

Ramona cheers about a chocolate bunny like she just won the mega millions

Everyone continues to stare at Ramona

She proclaims Avery loves chocolate over and over again

Ramona makes her second toast to Luanne

Everyone is worried about Ramona’s sanity at this point

The ladies gossip about Ramona’s sense of entitlement

Ramona goes for the drunken apology so close to Bethanny she can see her skin cells

Luanne makes a toast

Tinsley asks the most obvious question, “Why aren’t all the women invited to Luanne’s wedding?”  Bethanny takes it upon herself to explain:

1. Carole is dating a 30 year old that previously dated Luanne’s niece

2. Ramona dated Tom and went on a campaign to smear him

3. Sonja has actually seen Tom’s junk

4. Bethanny called Luanne a whore in that very room

Luanne nods in agreement.  

Ramona proclaims her love for the group, sans Tinsley

Ramona tries to make one more toast

Bethanny makes Ramona so nervous, she has to go over her apology with Sonja.

 Look, Ramona is no peach, but Bethanny is being cruel, and after last year, when Ramona checked in on her every day when she was sick, she should swallow her cruelty and just forgive Ramona.  But she is going to drag it out… and she proclaims to Ramona she has NEVER been a good friend to her, and this is where Bravo leaves us, until next week.